Dogs Aren’t Born Knowing How to Ask for a Belly Rub, Learn What it Really Means

Dogs don't exit the womb asking for belly rubs.

“Oh how cute she’s rolling over for a belly rub!”

How many times do you hear someone say this?

Or how many times have you said it yourself?

Rolling over onto the back and exposing the belly is actually a distance increasing signal - a stop sign.

In this photo, a dog in a local rescue is showing us a perfect example. During her training session where she was working on acclimating to a muzzle, she stopped and did this. She is NOT asking for a belly rub. She’s asking the volunteer to stop the interaction (muzzle training). When a dog gives this clear signal, we listen. We stop what we are doing, walk away (or in this case stand up and move away), and give the dog the space they are politely asking for. When the dog is ready to re-engage, then we continue on. If we didn’t listen, closed in on her space, pursued her, and forced her to continue, she would have to try a different way to tell us that she needed a break. And for some of those other ways, you definitely would not want to be on the receiving end of them.

The belly up is INSTINCTUALLY a stop signal. Little puppies come out of the womb ready to roll over in submission and deference to say “please stop being threatening because I’m not a threat to you.” Then, us humans with our hands, cannot resist rubbing puppy bellies whenever we see them. They’re cute, soft, squishy, warm, and down right adorable - despite the fact that the puppy didn’t come out of the womb ready to ask for belly rubs. Over time, these puppies can grow up and absolutely learn that belly rubs are enjoyable and they can also very well learn to ask for them. Which is totally ok! However, that doesn’t take away the fact that this behavior is hard wired as a stop cue during interactions. Asking for belly rubs is a LEARNED behavior. Not a natural one.

Side note: Dogs and puppies on their backs while sleeping or resting don’t involve interactions, so we’re not discussing those here. Also, it’s not the same in play, as with most signals during play.

Therefore, take note of this if you frequently encounter dogs you don’t know - whether that be in your neighborhood or in your career or in your volunteer work. If you begin to interact with a strange dog with an unknown history, or if you are interacting with a dog who has a history of aggression (especially a bite history!) then you need to respect the fact that this behavior was not hard wired for us to enjoy, it was hard wired for dogs to communicate when they want to disengage from an interaction. Otherwise... it’s likely you could get bit.

If you live with a dog who has anxiety, fear, and aggression directed towards their owner like myself and many of my clients, then yes I am in fact telling you not to pet your dog’s belly. These dogs either a) never learned that belly rubs are a good thing or b) maybe they have but they still use this instinctive way of communication when needed and since you can’t read your dog’s mind you can’t tell the difference. So when in doubt, stop.

And if you live with a well rounded dog who doesn’t have any serious behavior problems and really does love belly rubs, by all means, keep rubbing those bellies! But please, educate the next person who asks to do the same: that this is not the norm for dogs. You may end up one day preventing a bite and saving a dog’s life because just one person listened.

To circle back to the dog in the photo - she proved that the belly up is a stop signal in her own way. While in her kennel, a person known to her approached the gate and greeted her. As they greeted her, she later down and exposed her belly at the kennel door. The person then bent down and reached their fingers in to “pet her belly.” This action, was closing in on space rather than giving space (as requested). So the dog escalated to something more obvious - she got up and started to bark and lunge at the gate. No doubt the person was thankful for the kennel door. She was not asking for a belly rub. She was asking politely for the person to back off.

And this is where our projections of how we perceive dogs can harm them, when we don’t take the time to stop and truly understand what’s being communicated.

The take away is this:

If you are interacting with a dog that you do not have a relationship with, and they roll over and expose their belly, stop the interaction. Take it for what nature intended it to be.

If you are interacting with a dog that has a history of any aggression or fear towards you as their owner/caretaker, and they roll over and expose their belly, stop the interaction. Take it for what nature intended it to be.

If you are interacting with a dog that you have a solid, healthy relationship with, and they roll over to expose their belly, sure, you can pet them. Take it for what the learned behavior is.

And if you ever have any “doubt” as to whether the dog is asking for space vs requesting petting, then take as a request for space.

Let’s appreciate the belly up signal as what nature intended it to be - not as the learned behavior it can sometimes turn into.

Dogs are always talking. But we are not always listening. It’s time to change that!